I don’t know at that point I realized the definition of true happiness. But I can tell you right now it was when I chose to look at my life from a different standpoint. So many things were happening. So many setbacks. Some I chose to publicly announced, and some I chose to keep private on my journey. my physical setbacks throughout my journey have been no joke. From herniated desk‘s from motor vehicle accidents, a knee injury, surgeries, etc. I felt so long feeling like a victim. I kept thinking why is this all happening to me. I’m a good person. I share nothing but good vibes. I try to do everything in life according to what people would say is the right way. Being honest, being genuine, using my heart. Not going through life with a catchers mitt on both hands with a “what’s in it for me” mentality. But at the same time I just felt like I was drowning. One thing after another would happen. As soon as a situation would start to get better, poof it was worse times ten. But i’ve still kept the mindset of “one day it will turn around”. I have watched people be dishonest and win and win and win. I’ve seen the ones I know with money get into a position of getting more money. Those same people with perfect health never get sick, never get injured. I always thought “how the hell is that fair” They’ve done such grimey things in life. They aren’t genuine. They don’t deserve it.
But me...I stuck to my ways and realize that I have been given mountain over mountain to prove they can be moved. To be that success story that people can say “well she went through it and look where she’s at”.
The excuses people make to give up we’re just another obstacle I overcome. I’ll still push through pain, i’ll still grind. I remember my Grandma always saying “If your intentions are pure, God will always make sure things are in your favor one day” but I would have to always have an obstacle. And i’ve finally come to realize that the “why me” mentality....has to end. I changed it to “what is this teaching me” and “how can I use this to help others” and truly began that mindset and boy has my life changed. All the money in the world...the nice cars, the big house...all of that is pointless if you don’t have internal happiness. If you can’t look in the mirror every day and love what you see. If you can’t go to sleep without some type of anger or jealousy or
bitterness in your heart then you aren’t internally happy. If you always want what others have you truly aren’t content. It’s about using what happened to make me better not bitter...and holy cow have things truly moved in my life. I can look in the mirror and say “Damn girl, you look great. you’ve taken no shortcuts. It’s taken you a long time of trial and error but look at you.” it’s about “no you can’t do the workouts bothers are doing but you can kill it in the workouts you can do.” it’s the actual “full heart” feeling when doors open for you. The ones you knocked at for years that wouldn’t even look through the peephole let alone open that are now wide open. It’s about people and companies wanting to help you. Don’t get me wrong, people without this mindset win too. but not forever.
Me...Forever is it, because my motives are genuine and my heart is pure. I needed to simmer a little so that when I changed my thinking I would rise as a whole damn fire. I found my passion in helping others even if they don’t appreciate it. I want to feel like I left someone better than I found them. That’s true happiness. Stop tying a smile to material things. Be honest as a person. if you have to lie, cheat or steal to move up in life, it will eventually catch up to you. You’ll become stagnant, or you’ll lose it all. Maybe not financially but personally. Karma works in unexpected ways. Those you love can get sick. Maybe your relationship or marriage will go straight to hell. It will come back in a different form.
Think different. take losses. take chances. leave the job you hate. leave relationships that just aren’t bringing you pure joy. stop sacrificing your personal happiness for kids, family, jobs, etc. take leaps of faith. you might struggle, you might fall flat on your face, you might lose people in the process. but trust me, you’ll learn true happiness . And baby, there’s nothing like the feeling of nothing disturbing your inner peace.